Fragile of Mind
by Carebee
Summary: Hermione never thought Ron would die and leave her alone with an unborn baby and a broken heart.  She falls into a depression and she thinks she can only love one person, Ron.  She couldn't be more wrong.  T for safety reasons.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: The Beginning

It wasn't my choice to fall in love with the one person I swore to never speak to after graduation. It wasn't my fault he swept me off my feet and pulled me from a dark point in my life. Never did I think I would ever see him again, let alone fall in love with him. I couldn't believe myself. I love you, he had told me I had almost fainted when I realized that it was mutual. I guessI should back up a little bit to the beginning two years after we left Hogwarts…

I sat in front of the window in my bedroom, crying so hard I almost couldn't breathe. "Hermione?" Ginny asked. "Are you okay? It's diner time."

"L-l-leave." I managed to respond. I ignored her as she told me that I had to eat. I didn't have to any such thing. I didn't deserve to live. I would trade my life for Ron's at the first opportunity that arose. Last week Harry, Ron and I had gone with a few Hogwarts friends to speak to a few of the surviving death eaters to ask whether there were any death eaters who were not currently in Azkaban prison. After pointless interviews with the former death eaters, we left with heavy hearts. On our way through the streets of the muggle world, Voldemort supporters attacked us from the shadows. We weren't prepared for the attack and no one could protect them. She and Harry managed to escape but Ron wasn't so lucky. He was killed. She couldn't believe that fate could be so mean. The night before he died he had proposed to her. He hid the ring in a cupcake for her birthday, ad of course she had said yes. She couldn't live with herself knowing that she might have been able to save him.

"Hermione dear, at least eat your apple." Said Mrs. Weasley. She tossed her an apple and left. Ron was her youngest son and she was able to move on, to cook and care for the members of the order. Harry was beside himself with grief but he was still able to do his job and to take care of himself. I had tried to be like them but I just couldn't. I would get up from my chair at the window side and the first thing I saw would remind me of Ron and I would break down into tears. His loss killed me, to the point where I couldn't move, I was paralyzed with grief. I thought nothing could pull me from my world of grief except Ron himself but I couldn't have been more wrong.

A week past and I began to feel sick in the morning. I blamed it on my depression. My sadness was beginning to effect not only my mind and heart, but it was effecting make physically as well. One morning three weeks since Ron's death I woke up to the sound of a knocking on my door.

"Come in" I said. I looked over ad saw Ginny open the door. I immediately felt sick and ran to the bathroom and vomited.

"Hi Ginny," I said. My voice was quiet and weak, as I was attempting to hold in a sob. I realized this was impossible and I broke into tears.

"Oh, Mione it's ok. Why did you throw up though?" she asked. I honestly couldn't answer that question because even I didn't know.

"We're going to get you a doctor, just lie in bed and I'll be back." She said worriedly.

"No Gin…" I tried to tell her but she was already gone. I lay on my bed in silence for about five minutes until Ginny had told the family. I could tell Mrs. Weasley was on her way up the stairs.

"Hermione dear what's wrong?" Mrs. Weasley. She rushed into the room followed by someon who I guessed was a doctor.

"What are your symptoms dear?" the doctor asked.

"I-I don't know." I sobbed.

"I'll check her out. You guys can come back when I'm done. Go on." He told them. He used a stethoscope and checked my heart beat. He did a few other tests and then left me sitting on the bed. Outside the room I heard a squeal of excitement. The doctor walked back in the room followed by Mrs. Weasley, Ginny, and even Harry.

"Hermione I have some exciting news for you. You're pregnant." He told me. I could tell that my visitors were awaiting my response to the news but I couldn't think let alone speak. Inside of my body, a little Ron was growing. The baby I always dreamed of having. Three week ago this would've been the best news. Now it only pushed me deeper into my depression because Ron would not get to be a father. He would not get to meet his child. Growing inside me was a constant reminder of what would never be. I broke into tears and ignored any attempt from my visitors to comfort me.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Surprise Visitor

For the next whole week I kept to myself. I ignored everyone and ate little of what Mrs. Weasley lay out for me. I never left my bed and I threw up in a bucket Ginny brought in for me. I cried constantly weeping for Ron, for me, and for the baby. He would've moved the wedding forward if he was still alive. We would be planning it right this very moment making our guest list, writing our vows, and decorating the tent outside. Ginny and I would meet Luna and Fleur and we'd pick my wedding dress. Ginny would stare at the dresses in awe desperately awaiting Harry's proposal. We'd comfort her and say, oh you know he'll ask you just give him some time, and she'd laugh and say I guess. This baby would come into this world surrounded by her family and the child would look up and the first person they would see would be their father. Ron would smile and together we'd raise a family. When they turn 11 we'd walk with them to platform 9 ¾ and they'd nervously run through the wall. Everything could've been perfect.

It wasn't this way though. In my free time I had written my wedding vows to him. I never stopped sobbing as I wrote…

_Oh Ron,_

_I can't believe we're here, standing on this stage surrounded by the people we love_

_I can remember that first train ride when we met_

_You sat with Harry, The Boy Who Lived_

_And I fixed Harry's glasses for him with a spell that I read of_

_You called me a know-it-all_

_That stung a little._

_You might not have known but I fell in love with you that first year_

_When we entered the chamber of secrets and you almost died_

_I realized that though I had known you for a year_

_You touched my heart in a way no one could_

_I love you Ron Weasley_

_And I always will._

I'd never been a poet, but I felt I owed it to him, after all he did for me, and I just let him die there surrounded by death eaters. He would've told me to run anyway, but if I knew he wasn't with us, I never would've left him. I felt guilty for leaving my love to die. I sobbed again coming up with different things he could've written in his vows, none making me feel happier. At that moment I realized that this place was keeping me down. I had to get away from here where there were no memories of Ron. I had to run away.

I grabbed my poem, some clothes, a little bit of muggle money my mother gave me and I stuffed it all in a suitcase. I ran down the steps in a hurry and nearly knocked Harry over.

"Where are you going Hermione?" he asked

"Away from here." I whispered.

"Not without supervision. You're having a baby for petes sake. Take Ginny. She needs a break from this place too. I must have some time away from her so I can get her a ring."

"Fine. Have her meet at the front door in five minutes I can stay here no longer." He brushed past me and I walked to the front door. I waited there for five minutes until Ginny walked down the stairs with her suitcase behind her. I took one last look around my love's home before I turned and left without a single look back.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Howath

Ginny and I took The Weasley's car down the long road away from their home. All around all I saw was tall grass. The grasses were unimportant but anything could be hiding in them. I got my wand from inside my bag. I would not have any more death eaters come after me and kill my love's sister. It seemed as though my depression was turning to anger, though I was still as depressed as I was before, I was slightly angrier at the death eaters than I was at myself. As soon as I realized this I put my wand back and lost interest in my anger.

We drove for miles and miles and still there was no sign of anything. Before it happened we had used floo powder or we flew the car but not this time. We were trying to have this as a magic free adventure. We stopped one time at this little abandoned town and found a little bit of food in the gas station and Ginny put more gas in the car. We didn't end up eating the food but I had to feel useful in some way.

We drove for a few more miles and we finally came along a little town called Howath. Howath was a quaint little town, the kind of town where everyone knew everyone else's name. We pulled up in front of a little inn called Sally's. The building was white and it had neon lights in the windows and no cars in the parking lot. It seemed like the perfect place to stay for a few days until we knew where else to go.

We got our suitcases out of the car and walked through the front doors. The inn seemed deserted although it looked clean and nice.

"Hello? Anyone there?" Ginny called

"A customer? Is there a customer?" a little voice called from behind the desk. We proceeded forward to see an old lady, maybe 80, sitting in a chair reading a book.

"Would you like to rent a room? It's quite cheap. Only 15 dollars a night." She asked us in her high voice.

"Yes please ma'am. We'd like two rooms for now please. Are there any conjoined rooms?" Ginny replied.

"Oh yes, you would like two rooms together?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Here's two room keys for each of ya. Go down the hall and to the left, first doors on your right. Thank you for choosing here to stay were about to close down."

"And one more thing ma'am, we were just wondering how far this is from any other towns." Ginny asked.

"Oh, a couple miles North there's a town a bit bigger than this one. You might want to head there. I've never been out of this town."

"Thank you." We followed her instructions to the rooms marked three and five. We parted ways and began unpacking in our temporary home.

I place the picture that I brought of Ron on my bedside table and put my vows in front of it. I put on some of my favorite pajamas and lay on the bed. It felt better to be in a place where there were no memories of Ron. I felt less obligated to cry and for the first time since Ron's deathI fell into a peaceful sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

I woke up to the sound of Ginny knocking on the door between our rooms. I opened my eyes and took in the surroundings I didn't have time to see last night. The door was to my right and there was a dresser with a television above it directly in front of me. To my right was a door leading out a small patio.

I got out of bed and put on a loose white blouse, blue sweatpants, and soft boots. Once I got my pants on Ginny knocked again.

"I'm coming!" I called. I walked over to the door and opened it to reveal Ginny in a pair of jeans and a blue sweater.

" Let's go see the town." She said.

"Even though we left, I'm still not over Ron." I chocked back a sob. "You can go."

"I'm not going without my best friend." She smiled at me, lamely trying to make me feel better.

"F-fine." Salty tears began to fall from my eyes once again. "L-let me get myself together." I closed the door and turned to the mirror. My eyes were a little red from crying and my hair looked like an afro, but other than that I looked okay. I got my wand out from inside my bag and used a spell to brush and straighten my hair. I used a spell on myself to make myself feel a little happier and my eyes went back to normal. I usually didn't do things like this to myself but this was a special occasion. This was a new place. I had to make a good first impression.

I grabbed my purse and put my wand in my boot. I wasn't sure if I would need anything during our day in the streets. I walked out the door and into the hall. It was bright and I could clearly see Ginny on the phone, probably with Harry. She saw me and ended the conversation she was having on the phone.

"You ready?" she asked.

"Yeah. We should get going. Where are we going to go?" I replied.

"Well, I heard there was a little shopping area, with a few nice stores. Maybe we'll go meet some neighbors and look to buy a house. We've got enough money we just need to find one. We'll start at the stores. Sound good?"

"Yeah let's get going." We walked through the hall in silence. We came to the lobby and waved to the owner.

"Have fun!" she called. We walked out through the door.

"Let's walk." Ginny said. "It'll be good for your baby." I didn't respond to that but we walked about three blocks to a short street with small family owned stores on either side. My eyes instantly settled on a quaint bookstore with a little sign in the window that read… "Books, books galore! Welcome to books, books galore." It seemed like the kind of store that she would find warming. She told Ginny where she was going and hurried to the door. She smiled when a bell rang as she opened the door. Right in the front there was a little table with antique books, such as a copy of Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet from 1946 and a copy of A Tale of Two Cities from 1953. Behind the table there were a few rows of bookshelves. In the back I could see a little sitting area.

"Welcome. How can I help you?" I turned to see a lady of about 60 with gray hair and faded blue eyes.

"I'm just browsing but thank you."

"Okay. Thank you for coming in. Have fun." I began walking down the aisle marked fiction. There were a variety of books in the aisle, most of them for teens. I wasn't looking for anything in particular but I needed a book to occupy me in my free time. I picked up a book called _The Help. _It seemed interesting enough. I was about to turn toward the checkout counter when a voice from behind me nearly scared me to death.

"Granger? Is that you?" I turned to see none other than Draco Malfoy standing behind me.


End file.
